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View Full Version : Am I being a control freak or are roommates clueless



Wildernessgirl
03-23-2009, 01:34 AM
Okay please don't laugh at me although I'm laughing right now. But does anyone here dislike confrontation so much that they avoid it all cost. I feel like such a wimp.

My roommates for most part follow the rule to leave the kitchen clean for next person except one. She and her boyfriend used to be good but every night now the kitchen sink is full on both sides with dirty dishes all the way to top. Not to mention that all the dishes belong to me and were passed down from grandparents.

My one morning off when I was going to cook breakfast was spent putting their dirty dishes in dishwasher which was empty and they had already left house. This evening I noticed they didn't empty dishwasher which was full of dishes they used and left sink full of dishes again.

It took me 15 minutes of being angry before knocking on door and asking her to please clean the dishes before going to bed which she did. I feel like such a wimp because it makes me uncomfortable confronting them or maybe guilty like I'm being a control freak. I can understand a glass or dish or two but not full on both sides. Not to mention I worked 65 hours this week and they worked half that.

Now if I can only get them to listen to me when I tell them to not turn heat up to 75 and then leave the house for the day with the windows wide open during winter.

Does anyone else have trouble with confronting people. How do you handle it? I have no problem if someone approaches me but approaching others when I'm angry over something can be difficult sometimes.

When I'm finished with medical school I will never ever have roommates again other than pets or husband and children if I get married. I'm so tired of dealing with roommates.

Viking Princess
03-23-2009, 01:42 AM
join the club. I wimp and wait for my roomie to be home without her dudeman if there is something that is such a problem I just can't not say anything (like her man leaving the oven on and then leaving for hours.)

*sigh*

I have never been in a physical fight, and I am so sensitive that if I get emotional enough (even angry enough) I will cry. I cannot control it at all. LOL and I can't function if I know someone is upset with me. :wno:

and I don't blame youfor being annoyed. Our kitchen looks AWFUL! everytime I clean it, it gets distroyed!

and roomie turns the AC on reallllly cold to where i have to wear a blanket around the house to be comfortable.:wno:

kentspumpkin
03-23-2009, 02:34 AM
Once again, Kudos to yall for being able to do the whole room mate thing in the first place. I wish i could help you. I am more the type to speak my mind. I also tend to be a big smart butt. I would have probably said really loud where they could hear me, "Would you look at that. The dirty dish fairy came again and left a big present. And whodathunk? Its got your name, so and so, written all over it. You might want to come do something with it, because it is blocking the sink."
I give my DH a hard time alot. He hangs his sleeping pants on my towel rack in the bathroom. I say stuff like, "Gee I can't wait for someone to come over and see my new decorative bath towel."

shay
03-23-2009, 04:43 AM
I have never been in a physical fight, and I am so sensitive that if I get emotional enough (even angry enough) I will cry. I cannot control it at all. LOL and I can't function if I know someone is upset with me. :wno:

im exactly the same way when i become too angry i end up crying n feelin more upset when some1 is upset with me. i dont like ppl thinking bad things abt me n ill avoid confrontation at all costs but sometimes i jus cant so i somehow bite the bullet n do it i fig its better to get over with quickly then let it go on any longer and let it drive me mad coz i know it will! im the type of person who will keep thinking abt it n analysing from every angle thinking abt wat the consequences are if i confront this person n say this, this and this! even if i did something on the spur of the moment it would play on my mind abt whether i did the right thing. its annoying sometimes but jus the way i function! lol

i dont think u being a control freak wildernessgirl u jus like ppl to clean up after themselves and keep the place neat n tidy im the same cant live in a place that looks untidy. i think u jus have to, like i do, bite the bullet n talk to ur roomies coz if u let it carry on its going to drive u crazy. jus get it over n done with as quickly as possible n if they dont listen to u, u can always get revenge, the ladies gave some good ideas in VP's thread "i'm sooo spiteful" i think thats the name! goodluck i hope everything works out for u!

redheadgirl79
03-23-2009, 10:23 AM
I used to be like that and I still am sometimes. The more you confront people the easier it becomes. Good for you though for going to her telling her that she had to wash her dirty dishes. As for leaving the thermostat at 75 make her start paying extra. I'll bet that will cure that, it worked with me I used to keep my thermostat at 70 to 75 until I saw my gas bill one month, now it's at 65 and I wear sweaters.

Wildernessgirl
03-23-2009, 09:49 PM
im exactly the same way when i become too angry i end up crying n feelin more upset when some1 is upset with me. i dont like ppl thinking bad things abt me n ill avoid confrontation at all costs but sometimes i jus cant so i somehow bite the bullet n do it i fig its better to get over with quickly then let it go on any longer and let it drive me mad coz i know it will! im the type of person who will keep thinking abt it n analysing from every angle thinking abt wat the consequences are if i confront this person n say this, this and this! even if i did something on the spur of the moment it would play on my mind abt whether i did the right thing. its annoying sometimes but jus the way i function! lol

i dont think u being a control freak wildernessgirl u jus like ppl to clean up after themselves and keep the place neat n tidy im the same cant live in a place that looks untidy. i think u jus have to, like i do, bite the bullet n talk to ur roomies coz if u let it carry on its going to drive u crazy. jus get it over n done with as quickly as possible n if they dont listen to u, u can always get revenge, the ladies gave some good ideas in VP's thread "i'm sooo spiteful" i think thats the name! goodluck i hope everything works out for u!

I overanalyze things as well and your right if I didn't say anything I would not be able to sleep because I was angry. Of course after asking confronting her I overanalyzed if I should have confronted her :wlaugh:.

What helps me with confronting others is that I stay calm and am polite and nice about but at same time firm with telling them what I expect or I try to reach some compromise that we both feel good about. I suppose what makes it difficult is not wanting to do so when I'm angry or emotional about something. I want time to think it through and get emotions under control.

Wildernessgirl
03-23-2009, 09:52 PM
join the club. I wimp and wait for my roomie to be home without her dudeman if there is something that is such a problem I just can't not say anything (like her man leaving the oven on and then leaving for hours.)

*sigh*

I have never been in a physical fight, and I am so sensitive that if I get emotional enough (even angry enough) I will cry. I cannot control it at all. LOL and I can't function if I know someone is upset with me. :wno:

and I don't blame youfor being annoyed. Our kitchen looks AWFUL! everytime I clean it, it gets distroyed!

and roomie turns the AC on reallllly cold to where i have to wear a blanket around the house to be comfortable.:wno:

If I get angry enough or feel let down I will cry too. I think I'm like my mom I blow up onece or twice a year but other than that very even keel and mellow. It's funny my dad is like a bear and always expressed his outrage and the kids ignored him but when mom blew up and started slamming pots and pans every jumped to attention or left house lol.

Ms Rainbow & Mr Night
03-23-2009, 09:55 PM
i am a control freak so i couldnt even deal with any roommates...and on goin upto someone about something that bothered me is like breathing :realmad:...if u did something i didnt like u can bet ur *** off i will let you know... my problem is being nice about it:snick:

Wildernessgirl
03-23-2009, 09:56 PM
I used to be like that and I still am sometimes. The more you confront people the easier it becomes. Good for you though for going to her telling her that she had to wash her dirty dishes. As for leaving the thermostat at 75 make her start paying extra. I'll bet that will cure that, it worked with me I used to keep my thermostat at 70 to 75 until I saw my gas bill one month, now it's at 65 and I wear sweaters.

Landlord pays utilities and I don't to contact her about it. She makes Darroc seem like the easter bunny.

I suggested roommate use my extra down blanket or get an electric heater like mine which works great or wear warmer clothes but she was dismissive and thought it was not necessary. Maybe it's a European thing? We usually keep the heat at 70 which seems more than warm enough.

Wildernessgirl
03-23-2009, 09:58 PM
i am a control freak so i couldnt even deal with any roommates...and on goin upto someone about something that bothered me is like breathing :realmad:...if u did something i didnt like u can bet ur *** off i will let you know... my problem is being nice about it:snick:

Lol :wlaugh:! I wish I could be more like that. My sister is like that even with her boss and it gets her ahead at work. he respects her more because of it. I'm getting better though.

Ms Rainbow & Mr Night
03-23-2009, 10:00 PM
Lol :wlaugh:! I wish I could be more like that. My sister is like that even with her boss and it gets her ahead at work. he respects her more because of it. I'm getting better though.

it does have its draw backs though....b/c im "soo in ur face" about it i usually have to say sorry:wno: